Setting Expectations: The Real Reason Performance Reviews Feel So Hard
Hello Managers,
It’s a new year, and some of you are getting ready to write out your teams performance reviews. Or, some of you are working on putting together your teams annual goals. Regardless, performance reviews shouldn’t be a once per year thought or discussion. It should be constant.
So Many Manager’s dread having performance reviews.
This is why so many Manager’s dread having performance reviews. It’s a conversation that only happens once a year. The repetition isn’t there and it feels foreign. In order for you to feel comfortable doing performance reviews, you need to increase the repetitions in which you talk about performance with your team members.
When Manager’s dread performance reviews, it’s usually not because of the review itself. It’s because there’s a gap between what was expected (the goal) and what actually happened (the result). That gap is created when expectations are unclear, assumed, or only discussed once a year.
The fix? Set expectations in every single one-to-one.
Not aggressively.
Not through formal performance warnings.
Through consistency, clarity, and constructively.
Reframing Performance Conversations.
Performance doesn’t need to sound like:
“You didn’t do this well.”
“If this continues, there will be consequences.”
And it doesn’t need to follow a rigid SBI (Situation–Behavior–Impact) script every time. Instead, performance should be woven naturally into your ongoing one-to-ones, so nothing ever feels like a surprise.
What the initial One-to-One Must Cover.
Your very first one-to-one sets the foundation for everything that follows.
It should focus on four things:
1. Clarifying the role by reviewing the job description together.
2. Setting goals directly tied to the job description.
3. Identifying areas for skill development and growth.
4. Creating a plan of action with clear milestones.
How Expectations Show Up in Every One-to-One
Each one-to-one should reinforce clarity through simple questions:
Are we aligned on what’s expected of you in this role?
Are you clear on your current goals?
Are we on track to hit the agreed milestones by the agreed dates?
If the answer is yes, reinforce and continue.
If the answer is no, that’s where coaching begins.
When Someone Is Off Track, instead of escalating or avoiding the issue, get curious. Understand what’s blocking progress and where support is needed.
Coach in the moment.
Adjust the approach.
Set new, clear expectations.
Clarity replaces frustration.
Why This Makes Performance Reviews Easy
When expectations are set in every meeting, performance reviews stop being stressful.
They become a recap of what was already discussed throughout the year, alignment on the outcome becomes more mutual, and ultimately the result is agreed upon.
No surprises.
No defensiveness.
Just clarity.
One Actionable Step for Your Next One-to-One
Before your next one-to-one ends, clearly state one expectation and one action item. Confirm mutual understanding by asking: “Are we aligned on this expectation and next step?” Repeat this habit in every meeting to eliminate performance surprises altogether.
